TO BE HONEST, there hasn’t been a lot of inspiration coming for me the last few months. Much of the work of Judas Kiss lay in the hands of investors-that-be and those to come. The rewrite of Judas Kiss lies mostly in the hands of Carlos. So I spent a lot of my time playing video games and moping around the house. Not exactly the bohemian artiste. Not only have I been artistically drained, but also emotionally exhausted from the loss of my mother in January.

However, I think I’m finally coming out of this funk. I went out to the Asian Pacific Film Festival last Sunday and saw a movie called The Sensei, written, directed and starring  D. Lee Inosanto.  Mostly known as a stunt actress, this is her first outing as a writer and director. While her acting is strong, the direction was passable and the script needed a major rewrite.

I’m not blogging this to slam her work. It’s no small feat to make a feature film. It’s actually quite impressive. I only bring her up because one needs perspective when working on a feature film. The first draft of Judas Kiss shared many of the same issues of The Sensei: over-explanations, lengthy scenes, two-dimensional characters and unclear focus. But the story is interesting and there is a lot of “heart” in this movie. It’s what made me think of Judas Kiss. I could have made that first draft, scraped some money together, but I wouldn’t have had a film that I was happy to produce. Not to say D. Lee’s movie is horrible, I just know by watching it how it could have been so much better with some cuts here and there and strengthening in other parts.

AFTER WATCHING THE SENSEI, I feel like I need to renew my faith in Carlos. He’s there to create a Judas Kiss that is capable of rising above the average gay film and be thought-provoking and groundbreaking rather than forgettable or heavy-handed.

And more exciting than having faith in Carlos, The Sensei has also inspired me to go back to writing my next screenplay. It’s actually been floating in my head for a while. It’s a story that I’ve been wrestling with since my mother’s passing. I wasn’t sure what story I wanted to tell, but now I think I want to tell my mom’s story of sorts. Still completely fiction, but a story of faith. My own mom didn’t get to live out a lot of her dreams. Actually she had to give up on many of them. So I’m inspired to create a story where she gets to live out one of her dreams of living out her life in Thailand. So It’s kinda of an action-adventure slash inspirational movie. Romancing the Stone meets the good parts of Little Buddha.

At any rate, I’m at the outline stage of my next story, tentatively titled Alms of Faith. And funny how no one is gay in the story thus far. But then again, it’s my mom’s story of sorts and she’s not gay… Or is she?? Hmmm. No. Not yet at least. So here’s to my new muse, D. Lee Inosanto, backhanded as my compliment may be. Kudos all around.

– JayTee